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My first contact with my mom was by email. I wasn’t old enough to fill out an Gnomes Lucky St Patrick’s Day Hug Steelers Shirt registry so I could only look through posts on a variety of poorly made independent search websites specific to the state I was born in. They didn’t have a useable search function and in some eras of adoption it was common practice to change the child’s birthdate to make reunion harder so I checked posts for other birthdays too. I checked these sites every few days for years. One day there was a post and I just knew it was my mom. I sent her an e-mail.
I was worried she wouldn’t believe me but Gnomes Lucky St Patrick’s Day Hug Steelers Shirt her what she’d named me so she knew I was who I was claiming to be. We talked on the phone for hours that night. I remember sharing what my life was like. I remember the conversation was effortless. I remember being so overwhelmed with joy and relief at finally finding her. We met face to face a few weeks later, the night before my birthday. This was over 15 years ago. Adoption is family separation. My mom was young and no match for the unethical practices of the adoption industry. Reunion doesn’t undo pain and trauma associated with the loss we both experienced.